My Name Is L
by Viburnum
Summary: L gets a second chance at life only he must interact with a girl called Kayako who had liked him during his time in Todai university. While an understanding develops L knows Light will return as well signifying fate's faceoff


Author's Note: I don't really own "Death Note" and I had huge inspirations from Orhan Pamuk (The title is synonymous with his "My Name Is Red" book) And Margaret Atwood and many others.

**My Name Is L  
Chapter One  
Introductions**

"Kayako," she hollered as if she were an insane tyrant, " I'll be late because of you!"

" Have you ever thought that you are tardy by yourself!" the young woman once was softer, plainer and definitely more underachieved, she was striving now and her efforts were more accomplished.

" What?" an astonished, angry face became evident from the light haired brunette as she looked at the dark chocolate head, " Speak up four eyes!"

She exhaled and spoke, " I've had enough!" Kayako screamed at her best friend Saki, it had been seven years since they had passed university and still Kayako felt that Saki bossed her perpetually, " You can't talk to me like this anymore!"

Saki grinned and then possessed by a heinous demon commented, " Just because you lost some pounds and look _hot_ doesn't mean you are a siren." She audaciously continued, " You're still a weirdo!"

Kayako then slapped her best friend. A moment of silence then Kayako spoke, determined, decided, in the fountain of betrayed spirits, " I'm leaving! You always wanted your boyfriend around now you can have him around 24/7th!"

That was six months earlier and Kayako had become a hermit. Not that it was any abnormal thing as she was possessed by the spirit of loneliness since she was child. Hardly any friends; now she and Saki have not been talking.

It was another ordinary day and she bumped into someone who wasn't so ordinary; in fact at first the recognition was delayed as Kayako saw the deterred woman, rumors were severely following this once famous supermodel. Her managers and spoke people all say the same thing – "She's going through a heavy depression."

" Misa-Misa." She uttered a bit longingly hoping she was right but the blonde girl in her was coated in heavy, punkish makeup and was dressed in a lanky white shirt and a very loose pair of faded denim. It might seem out of the blue but Misa-Misa looked slightly overweight and dark circles under her eyes (which Kayako detected expertly) illuminated a darker pitch to her black eye shadow.

The blonde woman called Misa looked astonished, " How…how did you recognize me!" she shrieked – they were near the grocery store and some people stared and passed by unaware of Kayako's discovery.

Kayako looked excited, " Well of course I know you…remember seven years – oh how will you remember…" avoiding Misa's pale face, " Remember Light-kun's university, your boyfriend I used to study there, I told you I bought your stuff every month."

" Stop it!" Misa held her head as though in pain, " Stop it right now!" Misa then ran off and Kayako on impulse followed her.

After a while in a deserted street Kayako saw Misa crying and looking for keys in her bag, it was secluded neighborhood and Misa lived in a lavish apartment building.

" Misa…?" Kayako knew there could be trouble but she touched Misa's shoulder gently.

" You…followed…me…" Misa looked so deranged, " Please leave me alone!" 

Kayako was surprised and saw Misa going into a hysteria; she saw a guard looking at them suspiciously so she did what she had to not draw attention. She slapped Misa on the face and yelled, " Baka! I told you not to drink especially during the day! Now come on let's get you home before you jump on any more guys!"

Misa held her cheek for a moment. Then in a trance Misa wearily opened her door and Kayako pushed her in and locked the door, " Misa-Misa please don't call the police! I swear I'm not a weird fan! Please you seem so wrecked! Tell me…" she observed Misa's flat and noticed the dreariness, Misa must have truly shunned herself from the world, " Misa…" she called softly only to see the blonde passed out on the couch.

At first Kayako gave a yelp as if worried, was Misa Amane dead? Then she approached her slowly, as though she was a dismembered corpse, then sliding down on the messy bottle-filled floor she took Misa's pulse, " Oh Thank God! She's alive!" Then Kayako looked around the disoriented apartment. She looked back at the passed out, faded beauty, I think something happened to tear her up. With that thought Kayako started cleaning up.

" Misa-chan, please drink this…" She woke up the blonde with the aroma of sweet lemon tea. Misa coughed heavily then looked surprised and jumped, " Misa-san it's ok, I'm Kayako Sakimoto, I am the person who brought you here."

" You are a stalker!" she yelled, " I'm calling the cops you bitch!"

" Please Misa-san I once used to study with Light-kun –"

" Don't say that filthy name in my presence!"

Kayako desperately reasoned, " He was your boyfriend! Remember one day at Todai University you came to meet him. I was there I had shorter hair then and was…chubbier…" she looked coyly at the angry blonde, " I just – you looked so upset…"

" Listen, what is that!?" Misa pointed at the lemon tea.

" Oh this is to rejuvenate you Misa-san, you looked so-"

" It's poison!"

" No wait! Misa-san!" Kayako screamed as Misa slapped away the tea as it spilled on the ground and the china broke to numerous fragments. Then she slapped Kayako.

" You bitch I'll have you arrested!" Misa stopped screaming and then looked around her now clean apartment, " Who did this?" she asked dumbly.

" Misa-san," Kayako clutched her cheek, " Please calm down, I'm only trying to help you…I…Misa-san?"

Misa was the ground now crying and pulling her hair, " Misa wants schizo-Misa to go away!" she yelled.

It took some moments but Kayako registered. Misa Amane had become schizophrenic. No wonder her managers were so hush-hush. The press were so merciless at times; they would celebrate Misa's weakened condition or so many would define the need for this secrecy.

Misa looked at Kayako then strangely, " You were the chubby girl…" it seemed she remembered Kayako now.

" Uh…yes…" Kayako uttered the answer, " Misa-san do you want some lemon tea?"

" Yes." Misa struggled; cuddled herself, spoke an erratic answer.

" Ok, I'll make you some more and please don't play with the broken pieces of china." She commented as she saw Misa poking strangely at the glassy fragment.

Misa was talkative afterwards. She spoke on various things. Her childhood, her rise to superstardom, her parents being murdered, and the elusive and notorious murderer Kira taking vengeance for her: Kayako concluded from her ramblings that Misa had met Kira personally and that she idolized him beyond everything in the world and that she loved him immensely. It was in a split second as Misa spoke in paradoxes and oddities that Kayako realized something: Misa was referring Light Yagami too simultaneously with Kira,_ Could this mean the Light Yagami I knew was…Kira…?_

The presumption was not pleasant but it felt too true. Kayako Sakimoto had a strong feeling that Light Yagami was Kira. " Where is Light-kun now?" she asked softly.

" Dead. His days are over…" Misa looked pale, " He used me. I thought he would love me but maybe I was more obsessed with him than loving him, or so he thought…L is gone too, L was nicer though not so good looking."

Kayako's interests piqued dramatically, " L, the super detective is dead?"

" Was killed by Kira…" Misa mumbled sorrowfully, " He was weird but I think he understood Light." Then she stared maniacally at Kayako which somewhat scared her, " I knew his real name!"

Kayako's curiosity heightened, " Really? Who was he then?"

" You met him, he was in your university!" she looked too happy now, it was strange, " He called himself Ryuga Hideki, after the pop-star who I think is too nice!"

Kayako almost dropped her cup of tea. The boy she admired. The weird boy who never sat properly…all this time…all this time…he was L?

" His real name was Lawliet and –" Misa was interrupted by a woman's voice.

" Who are you?!" the voice boomed and pointed at Kayako, " What are you doing with Miss Amane?"

" Sachiko I'm so happy you came!" Misa yelled in excitement, " Can we have stake for dinner!"

But the woman wasn't paying any attention to Misa, she looked venomously at Kayako, " I asked you a question!" she yelled more loudly now, then she grabbed Kayako by the collar, " If you are a member of the press than I am curious to know how you got in here."

" No wait please…" Kayako whimpered as she attempted to pry off the tight hands, " I'm Kayako Sakimoto and…you see Misa was walking around in the street…so I followed her…I'm a fan…I cleaned up her apartment…"

" So, you're some kind of stalker?" Sachiko dangerously narrowed her eyes.

" No, please this is a misunderstanding…I'd met Misa before she got schizophrenia –"

" Wait!" Sachiko was alarmed and now looked more intensely, " How do you know about this?! Answer!"

" Please believe me…Misa-Misa told me, she was do hysterical…" Kayako looked bewildered, What did I get myself into?

" Sachiko, I met Kayako seven years ago," out of the blue Misa mumbled, " She was a fan of mine." She then started crying incessantly, " She was with Light-kun, with light, WITH LIGHT!" Misa threw a vase at the direction of the other girls and in surprise Sachiko let go of Kayako's collar as both of them moved aside as the vase hit the ground.

" Misa stop it!" Sachiko commanded as Misa looked dazed, " When did you call Kayako?" seemingly Sachiko saw the harmlessness of the other female.

" I went out of course…" Misa chirped dreamily, " The day was so –"

" Misa, where did you find the keys…?" Sachiko looked more shocked now.

" In that dark place where Sachi wanted me to play hide and seek with it."

Kayako looked at the humming, dazed Misa and then at Sachiko, " Where you trying to hide the keys from here?" though she wasn't sure if it was alright asking questions she decided that her curiosity came first in this case.

" Yes…I…kept in a container…the kitchen..." Sachiko looked defeated then looked apologetically at Kayako, " I'm so sorry…I thought you were…"

" It's ok…" Kayako exhaled a sigh of relief, " I encountered Misa near the grocery store near my home. She looked familiar so I decided to greet her and when I realize I wasn't mistaken I tried refreshing her memory by talking about Light, her boyfriend – well he used to be her boyfriend during his time at the university…"

" Light Yagami is dead." Sachiko stated, " He died last year and ever since Misa has completely lost her bearings."

" Oh my…" Kayako was shocked out of her senses, that genius dead, " How did he?"

" He was involved in the Kira case they say, he was killed by Kira when he confronted him…" Sachiko was saddened then bemused, " It was in the newspapers. Are you sure you didn't know?"

" These past months have been hectic for me." Kayako let out the confession, " I wasn't reading anything properly to begin with."

" Well funny thing is you aren't the only one," Sachiko informed, " Some people just soaked in the detail that Kira had been terminated…" then her eyes turned hollow, " Misa was a great admirer of Kira…from what I can say from seeing some of the drawings in her desk…poor thing…double loss for her I guess…"

" That's mortifying!" Kayako shrieked, " Who could support a bastard like Kira!"

It was in a flash that Misa pinned Kayako, " Don't say anything about Light!"

" Misa get off!" Sachiko came to aid Kayako as she struggled, surprised at the attack, " She isn't talking about Light!"

Misa went to a trance, " As Kira I loved him, only as Kira he was good."

Kayako managed to push Misa off and Sachiko apologized, " I don't know why she's like this but she is suffering from schizophrenia."

After that Misa went off into a nap as though severely exhausted, " Misa, the Misa I knew was energetic and lovely, and lively…" Kayako commented softly,  
" Someone I was so jealous off, how can Misa suddenly transform so suddenly?"

" Did you know Misa well?" Sachiko asked as she carried Misa to her bedroom.

" To be honest I only met her once face-to-face…" Kayako answered, " It was the day she came to visit Light at Todai University. It was an impression that was lasting I guess because that was one of the first times I met someone so famous."

" Well you look trustworthy stranger." Sachiko smiled as she put Misa under the covers, " It was nice of you to clean up but I do apologize…that was not your job it was mine…I live with Misa now, I'm her distant relative, her only living one. Her managers contacted me after she had her breakdown and the doctor personally requested that someone live with her as she wasn't able to take care of herself."

" The apartment was in such a mess…there were liquor bottles everywhere and –"

" What do you mean?" Sachiko stared at Kayako.

" I'm sorry…I…" Kayako was hesitant, " But the living room stank of alcohol."

Sachiko's eyes now were tear-filled, " I just left her alone for one day and –"

" Please Miss Sachiko don't cry…" Kayako held the woman's shoulder.

" I had a job interview today and yesterday I had to go back to my old home across town…my boyfriend broke up with him…bastard…I told him my cousin was sick…gone for a year he says…"

" You are Misa's cousin?" Kayako inquired.

" Yes, I'm her only one, my parents died when I was really young…I was supposed to come and live with Misa but at that time Misa's parents couldn't afford to take care of me so I was placed in a foster home…" she smiled slightly, " I'm Sachiko Amane, Misa's only living cousin."

It was very late when Kayako left the home of Misa and Sachiko Amane. She had promised not to breathe a word about Misa's condition, inwardly, she had sealed the conclusion of her theory, Light was Kira. The way Misa attacked her and her ramblings prior to Sachiko's presence served as absolute proof. It scared her immensely. To know that someone who talked with, studied with and occasionally hanged about with was KIRA. She went home and got under the covers. Today was day that broke her monotonous schedule and she remembered now that she hadn't shopped at all. Everything was overwhelming.

It was when she felt the pinch that her eyes flung open. She looked at the alarm clock next to her bed: it read midnight. Her legs felt something moving underneath the covers…and it wasn't her…

Kayako pinched herself…wait wasn't she just pinched now! She looked audaciously at her covers…something was moving…This has to be a dream! Her mind screamed then she felt them coming closer and closer…then a head popped up:

" Hey this cake tastes great! Did you make it?!" a pale face mouth stuffed with chocolate commented.

She gave a gigantic shriek and immediately pounced off the bed and looked horrified at the young man wearing jeans and a white long-sleeved tee, then she recognized him, " Ryuuga….Ryuuga Hideki…?"

" Not really, that was an alias…" he smiled as he gulped the cake, " I'm actually Lawliet…but people call me L…"

" YOU'RE DEAD!" she shrilly screamed, her heat rupturing out of her chest.

L looked as though he had been hit by a sonic blast, " Please calm down, I am here, in the flesh…" then he sheepishly smiled, " Well technically I'm a ghost…"

" What do you want…?" Kayako bit her lip, her tongue twirling, her throat dry – she felt her blood going so cold, as tundra.

" Well, you see it's complicated, God has given me a second chance at life, but it isn't something simple, it's like a test, for me…" then he paused, " And I guess for you…"

" Mem, Me…?" she incoherently uttered.

" Yes, you see you have to write about me, I mean I have to dictate my life and you must write about it…and then something will happen…I just can't remember what, actually I don't know…but I'll get my life back…OI!"

Kayako had just fainted.

L went near her then started poking her with his toes. Realizing she was out cold he sighed and then carried her in his arms, " Wow, you have lost weight." He commented then put her on the bed, as he watched her he noted, " You look cute both ways – the long hair suits you too!"

He then just put his head on a pillow and lied down next to her.

Well the cover scene was Grudge-inspired. Some elements of the story were inspired by others' fanfictions like the one where Light is becoming into a Shinigami and Ryuk loves him, which is posted here on 


End file.
